So I'm in a bit of stitch here dear reader(s) (ie. in panic mode almost all day). Several things in my life have recently changed, as I've outlined here, in but a very short time. Some things can be dealt with, others not. Some things are more pressing, others not.
1) I continue to be plagued with health issues that are never remedied and get worse, I need to see a doctor soon
2) Driving freaks me out a little bit. Just as I got used to our automatic transmission car we sold it for a standard. Not a huge issue, but a big pain in the ass currently, especially since I don't know how to drive it 100%.
3) I will be out of a job very soon. It was perfect in almost every regard, and now I will have to settle for something less and go through this whole big fucking event again.
4) I must start school soon before I become a homeless person.
5) A really nice girl likes me, and it freaks me out.
On the first issue, it's more of a long term one, but getting to the doctor and getting things out will be the first step that will, I'm sure, allow things to change/flow easily from there.
On the second issue, I just need to practice, though for now it's a hindrance and another complication I don't want.
On the third issue, fuck, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I might just not work and do school instead.
On the fourth, again, fuck. I'm sure it's not as bad as I make it out to be, and I'll certainly be there no longer than I would be at my longest at work, especially if I'm only taking a few courses.
On the fifth, this one could go either way honestly. I'm really interested in getting to know her more. But relationships freak me out. The commitment, and having to wonder what the other person is thinking, and making sure you're doing things right etc. etc. And I'm not sure I'm ready to be in a relationship, since I did break up with someone over a year ago for the same reason, and she knew everything about me. This girl I'll have to hide stuff from. But I also really like her. And should I just keep stringing her along like everything is fine? Or do I be honest with her? It stands to reason that would be continue to be friends, or take things further one day she'll know more about me.
The final problem is all these things affect each other. Like they all need to come into place right at the same time for everything to go well. I need to feel healthy so I feel better about life, and going out and doing stuff. But I also need a car to go do stuff. Plus I need money, but I don't have a job. And of course I'll need money and a car to hang out with this new girl. And then worrying about this affects my health. You see?
Anyways, that's how things are now. Back to how they were a year or so ago. Unfortunately. Maybe it'll just be short term. If anyone has any sane (or insane) advice on the issues, it'd be great to hear another perspective that isn't mine.
2 comments:
the girl thing is the only thing i think i can really comment on. you have to be honest. if she doesn't like the real you its not worth being with her and hiding yourself. if she doesn't like you for you than why would you want to be with her. and she might surprise you. everyone has been through something and can understand in some way and it sounds like if she likes you she might have more in common with you than you would think. don't throw it at her right away. go on the date - try and have just some fun and if you feel there is something there then be honest with her and explain the situation. she might understand more than you think. and if not than you weren't that committed and it won't be that bad compared to if you waited so long to come out with it and broke up after some real feelings have been invested.
phew
good luck
:)
Thank for the help Laura, and I guess you're right. It wouldn't make sense to just bring it up so soon, nor would it make sense hiding it over the long term.
I know that (well aside from like right now) I'm doing leaps and bounds better than a year ago, it's still something that rears its head every so often. So while it shouldn't be a huge issue, I guess maybe it's something to mention. And you know, it's not something that is specific to her.
Post a Comment