Friday, February 29, 2008

Our Last Day (9)

Another quiet day. Barb (Aunt) went home, I started going through my Move Guide checking off films I'd already seen. By the time I'd reached B I'd already done about 40 films. And now I'm on D I think. Tedious, but kinda fun. I should probably write down the films I've seen or at least keep some sort of tally otherwise what's the point, as hunting for blue checkmarks is a weird way to go about things, organizationally speaking. And I am all about the organization. Dinner was decent (food wise, we ate in), but we had a huge family talk about the history of it all, and peoples inner workings and gossip and such. Good stuff.

At 3 in the afternoon we fly home tomorrow. 3hr. flight to Montreal, and then fly in Ottawa. Another weird split flight, man I hate these things. On the one hand I'm not ready to leave because I barely did anything due to my crippling illness, not to mention I do love luxury and the heat. Plus it's so exciting and new down here and you're in walking distance of so much awesome stuff. And it's cold back home. But on the other side of the coin I do miss the homestead, my cat, my amp, other comforts of home. I've been away from home for a much longer time than this, and by myself as well, so it's odd I'd be homesick after only 10 days. But hey, I can't help it. I guess it's cause it's my first extended trip in sometime, I'm sure if I had more recent experiences to draw on it'd be different. I mean, I could stay, and would like to. I'm so torn.

Anyways, now I'm sitting here listening to Opeth on my MP3 Player.

My dad is watching Wizard of Oz (which honestly I can't stand right now, remember the whole too quiet argument from the last post? Yeah same with things that are too cute. I can only handle so much.) Plus my mother, ever the semi-drunk, is whirling around packing.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Obligatory Day 8 Post

So a semi-quiet day. Took a tour of the docks and saw some massive boats. Like hundreds of feet and $75 million cost. So not boats really, more yachts. Went out to dinner tonight, though I wasn't feeling well enough to ingest greasy food so I just had water and made KD when I got back here. On the way to the restaurant we blew a tire however, but were luckily right outside the restaurant so we didn't have to drive far. Then we changed the tire and ate. On the way out, my dad gave the keys to my mom, who had basically pre-drunk the restaurant, and so I immediately ripped them from her hand because my dad's retarded if he thinks she can drive. Hell she can't even drive sober let alone drunk. Anyways, it was fun driving here, crazy weird roads, but nice at night. Now I'm here and I'm tired.

I miss the videogames I was playing before I left. Too bad they're all emulated games on my computer. Parasite Eve 1 and 2, Resident Evil 2 and 3. I need a horror fix. It's too relaxing here. Know what I mean? For example I love soft music like Feist and Jeff Buckley, two of my fave artists. But if I don't listen to Metal every so often, generally more so than quiet stuff, I go crazy.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Day 7

Well I was able to wake up today and not feel like I was going to pass out and vomit, so that was a definite plus. I still took things slow however, used the treadmill, did some reading, etc. And tonight we went to this really nice, and fancy, Asian restaurant. I had Mango Chicken for dinner and it was great. I struggled through the meal with my chopsticks while everyone else gave up and used forks and knives. But I'm sorry, that is not how the food is meant to be eaten. Then we did a little driving tour of some of the neighbourhoods and then back to the condo for bed. I was going to watch Mean Streets, and started it in fact, but I'd rather get to bed early tonight, since last night I didn't get to bed until 2. I had the worst fever sweats ever ugh.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Day 6

Went to the doctor. It was some weird Brazilian focused walk in Clinic, and it was hard to understand everything the doctor and nurse were saying. Anyways, turns out I have some sort of throat infection that has spread to my ears and for some reason given me a fever, and I feel like I'm dying. Anyways, at the clinic they gave me a shot, of what I don't know, and some anti-biotics. Don't know if I feel better though. Hopefully soon, so I can actually get out and do things while here.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Day 5

Watched the Oscars last night and I couldn't be happier for Daniel Day Lewis, a real fave of mine ever since I saw Last of the Mohicans back when I was probably 10 or so. And Gangs of New York (in which he stars) is another fave of mine. And incidentally my favourite film from Martin Scorsese (blasphemy I know). Also, There Will be Blood, which he won Best Actor for, was directed by another fave biz person, Paul Thomas Anderson, who directed Boogie Nights, my absolute favourite film. Let's see how many more times I can use the word fave and/or favourite shall we? Nah....

Another sick day, and another day of doing pretty much nothing else but lying down. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I did however get out to the bookstore near here, where I picked up the special editions fo Face/Off and Hard Boiled as well as a 2008 Movie Guide. For the longest time I've wanted to go through one and check off all the movies I've seen as well as find others I want to see. So, it could take a while, but since I love film so much, it shouldn't be too much of a burden. That's all for tonight.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Day 4

Well today was a bust, I was literally dead all day. I just lay on the couch and moaned until about 4 when, after sweating for an hour or so, I could finally bring myself to stand up. This morning when I got out of bed, I figured it best to lie on the couch (since there's a breeze in and around it) in their living room which is about 30 feet from my room. But as soon as I got up from my bed I got really dizzy and so thought it would be best to boot it to the couch. 1/4 of the way there everything went black but I was determined so I motored it. Except not being able to see, I miscalculated my path and literally ran face first into a wall and then bounced off and landed on the couch, where I tried so very desperately not to vomit. Anyways, after I got feeling better, I went for a walk, then a swim. I still feel ugh, but not as bad as I did earlier, since I can actually sit up and whatnot. Hopefully things start going better from here on in.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Day 3

Well here it is, Day 3, and I'm fairly sick. Fever, headache, eye ache, tired, nauseous. Woohoo! So, consequently, nothing much happened today. However realizing that I might get worse, I traveled down to a nearby CD Warehouse that I saw was having a liquidation sale the other day. 50% off everything. So here's what I got;

The Aviator and Bringing out the Dead (2 Scorsese pictures=awesome)
The Sacrificial Rites of Dracula (classic Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee Dracula tale)
The Daily Show: Indecision 2004
Unborn But Forgotten (some Asian horror film, but it was put out by the same company that put out my fave horror film, A Tale of Two Sisters)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

And guess for how much. $20! Ridiculous eh?

That was the highlight of my day, especially since it almost killed me standing in line at the checkout. Other then that I was literally lying on the couch doing nothing all day. Hopefully things pick up soon. I really hope it's just dehydration or something.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Day Two

Ok, so here it is Day 2, and yes I will most likely update each day, just so I can remember things. I can't promise it'll all be interesting though.

Holy fuck am I tired. The heat is really getting to me. It's not overly hot, it's just I'm not used to it. And I also have some sort of hydration problem, so you can see where the heat causes problems. But it's nice, I just have a headache, and am a little tired. Why aren't I sleeping? I don't know, this seems important, while I watch CSI: Miami on TV as well. So I slept in till 12 or so, not my choice, but what are you gonna do. They don't have the food here that I eat, like Soy milk, so I kinda skipped breakfast, and my snack, and then ran for 40 minutes or so. All in all I can't say I'm surprised I'm dehydrated. Then in the afternoon, I went to this giant mall they have here, and got some shorts and sunglasses. I went to this one store where the sunglasses were $300+, and after I told the clerk that I couldn't find anything I really wanted, he told me there was a more upscale place around the corner.

The money here, is ridiculous. Multi-million dollar yachts driving by our balcony outside. Not to brag, since it's not mine, but just so you can understand how crazy it is here. But it's a very relaxing place, and people around aren't stuck up, as the rich can be as well. I must have tried on 30 different pairs of sunglasses at this one place, and this girl was perfectly fine with helping me, and chatting and laughing. After that, I finally got to pick out some food at the grocery store that I like, and I went to this little Euro-style eatery and had an apple turnover while my uncle had a latte. Then came back to their place (I'll have pictures when I get home of tons of stuff, I hope) and hung out on the balcony till dinner. Had pasta, and now I'm here.

It's been really great so far. The whole first day my mouth was agape with how crazy it was here, and how different it was, and why didn't I come here a couple years ago? So other things up in the air for doing are various museums, taking a trip to Miami, and some other less exciting stuff probably. Though honestly, I'm just glad I'm here, and that's enough for me. There's just so much to do, malls, beach, tours, boats wise just in the near vicinity that I could spend a number of weeks here and not see it all.

If anything, the only negative I have is that, even though things are fun, it's a little lonely here. Makes me wish I were here with friends, or hell, anywhere with friends, instead of with family. Don't get me wrong, my uncle and his partner are great, and are my fave family members, but it's hard not to think about how great this would all be with people my age. If only I were 'daring' enough to just head out and meet some people.

It's also really nice sitting on their balcony at night by myself. They're 3 feet up and there's a canal that runs between their land and the land across, and it's about 40-50 feet. On the other side, directly, are these fantastic mini mansions, and then beyond that are some trees and such, and then in the semi-distance is the downtown, large building area. It's great to just sit there at night, and throw on the old MP3 player and listen to some easy tunes.

Oh well, that's my mini, and not totally exciting update for today. I think I need to take things a little easier while I acclimatize, no more noon time runs, and perhaps hydrate a little more.

Thursday, February 21, 2008


Ok, well I here I am, in the land of sun and sand. I'll give a bullet point thing for the trip as well as a paragraph at the end detailing some other stuff.

-things packed for trip; MP3 player, 3 pairs of headphones, portable DVD player, Glamorama, It, The God Delusion, roughly 100 DVDs, cause who knows what I'll be in the mood for over the next ten days, PS2 and assortment of games cause maybe just being here will freak me out enough and I won't want to do anything, I am the epitome of over preparedness,
-went to bed at 12am morning before flight, and didn't get to sleep until 3, had two hours sleep and was woken up at 5am for 7:30 flight, took a Valium and left
-initial flight to Toronto, not bad, short at least, read some of my book, still in a I'm so fucking tired daze
-hour and 30 minute lay over in Toronto before Florida flight, not bad, bought gaming magazines, listened to Jeff Buckley
-actual flight pretty good, had two mini pizzas which the stewardess forgot to charge me for
-watched Boogie Nights, didn't give two shits if people saw me watching porn like film
-got to Florida, and damn was it hot
-but honestly I'm so glad I came, everything here is so different from Ottawa, clearly, and my last big trip, aside from Toronto and Tremblant, was 7 years ago which was Whistler
-picture the fanciest little villa (surrounded by other fancy villas) and that's where I'm staying, mmm luxury...
-went on a walk by the boardwalk, found sunglasses, but they were $165 so I'm going to shop around a bit more
-for dinner went to this little gay bar/restaurant (my uncle is gay) and it was to borrow a phrase, 'Fab-u-lous', I had the best Caesar/chicken salad there that I have ever had in my life
-then came home and watched the debate on CNN, and now I'm here, and oh so tired

Update with my friend. I sent her off a big email which was basically the first big thing I wrote on it, mixed in with some personal stuff, since the blog post was fairly impersonal. The email I received several days later (after I'd poured my heart out, bared my soul, posed questions etc.) was, 'I've been super busy and everything's fine, and omg I love my new boyfriend, he's so this, he's so that.'

Ok, well you may think things are fine in your busy little wonderland, but in my opinion things are note fine. Though I don't think I'm asking too much. At the very least all I really wanted was some sort of acknowledgment of how I was feeling (ugh feelings, how girly), and while she wasn't dismissive of them, the entire sentence she designated to the issue wasn't exactly reassuring. Especially when coupled with the paragraph afterwards about how great her new boyfriend is (3+ months, a new world record from the way she gushes about it). I mean, I'm not jealous, but when someone, ie. me or a any third party, sends someone else a email detailing things they really think need some attention, you gotta put things in perspective a little, and perhaps use some better judgment when writing your reply. I'm glad for her, I really am, just in a clear time of need, it would nice to be acknowledged, at least a little. Anyways, holy bitter. I'm over that now. At the very least I know where she stands, even if her stance is apathetic, or perhaps even still oblivious.

That being said, while I'm here in this beautiful weather, I will live life to the fullest for the ten days I'm here, and then get home and get started on my courses which start in March, and hopefully parlay my positive experience here into getting my license. Onwards and upwards.

EDIT: Just so we're clear, I deeply love my friend, I'm just confused by her actions is all. It's just I was so pleased that she actually wrote back, but imagine being in my position with the email I wrote, and getting back an email (finally! we're still friends!) and have it be all about someone else.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Updates on All Fronts

Well first off I suppose. Just got back from a mini-trip to Tremblant, which was, probably one of the worst family vacations I've been on. We were to leave early Friday morning, and Mike (my brother) was coming home by train Thursday. Except he's ridiculously ill, like the sickest I've ever seen anyone. If it were me, I'd be in the hospital. He's coughing and throwing up all the time, not eating, can barely keep down liquids, etc. He's been to the doctor, so they have it under control I'm sure. That being said, when at Tremblant (time share condo thing, upstairs area, as well as downstairs area, for future reference) I didn't want to leave him alone during the day, while my parents were off skiing. So I was stuck inside watching TV and such, and then at night it was either sleep downstairs on the floor (since I can't seep up right in a chair, and Mike had the bed) with Mike hacking and vomiting all night, or sleep upstairs on this tiny little lounge chair (parents had the bed) with my parents snoring like mad. So both nights I went to bed at around at 5am, and had about 5 hours cumulative sleep over the two nights.

So now I'm dead. And my Florida trip is on Thursday and we get up at 5 or so to leave. Hop on a plane to Toronto, and then take a plane from there to Florida, and we're there for 10 days. And I'm a little nervous. I thought this Tremblant trip would be good gauge of where I am, in terms of tolerating different things. As it stands now, my tolerance level is about a 2. If Florida goes as poorly for whatever reason, and I'm stuck there for 10 days, I'll go crazy. For managing shallow emotional stuff I've got my Valium (which I've never had, only Lorazepam) my MP3 player, and my portable DVD player. So things might go well. Though I hate sitting around, ie. in flight will be good, but when I'm on the ground and haven't left yet, it's like there's still time to change my mind. And then once I'm there, what am I going to do for 10 days? I mean, maybe I'll be cool with going out and doing events, and maybe I won't. And if I want to sit around, what will I fill my time with? It's not like I'll have games, or my guitar down there. Zoinks.

New update on the friend whom I posted about below. I spoke to a friend of hers (Ais), who's also my friend, I met both of them on the same day. I told her my problems with the situation, and she confirmed them somewhat being like 'yeah, she's gotten weird lately, we don't speak much either'. During this MSN conversation, 'problem friend' was online, but shown as 'Away', and we all know people just put up random statuses so as not to be bothered by people they don't want to talk to. So I told Ais to try talking to her and see what would happen. She did, and told me they were now talking. I called BS, because frankly I could fathom, as a stretch, my friend being too busy to call me back or being just plain forgetful, but to outright ignore me? There was no way. So Ais quickly posted a section of their conversation and suffice it to say I was shocked. So I quickly tried to start a conversation with my friend, and shockingly I got no response. I'm not sure what this means. We never had any sort of argument, or falling out. I can think of absolutely no reason why she would be outright refusing to talk to me, or respond to me. I don't want to be an ass and harass her, and hopefully that's not what it sounds like I am/doing on here, I'm just a little hurt now. A lot of the people I've talked to (who either know the personal background or not) say to just leave it alone, let her go, etc. To me that seems excessive. To just kind of cut this person off, especially since something seems to be the matter, on her end anyways. At the very least, I'll basically write her an email or something, with some flashy title so she'll see it, and then explain myself. After that, I don't know what to do. Kinda makes me sad :(

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Day...Of the Tentacle!

Ok, so after Laura's constant insistence that I play the game, I reluctantly gave in. Well, maybe that's a little melodramatic, but to set the stage let me first rely a conversation a friend and I had recently, which was strangely apropos given my interest in this game.

We, Dave and I, were talking about games, and I was complaining that I had no games to play, new or semi old, and of course he started recommending old, and obscure PS1 games and SNES games. Now my problem, and forgive me if it seems shallow, is that if I haven't played an old game before (and I'm talking pre-PS1) I'm most likely not going to play it. My first system was the N64, and while I'd played SNES, and NES games at friends houses prior to that, I was not brought up on them, as many people were. Hell I didn't really get into gaming until the PS2 came out, for the most part. So, the thought of going back 10+ years (gaming wise) and playing some archaic 2D, pixelated game, was none too appealing. I'm sure they're great for their time, and have fantastic nostalgic value, but as a current gamer, the thought of going from something like Oblivion to Super Metroid, seems like an awful idea to me. There are of course exceptions, like the FF game series, which I've loved on the the PS1 and such, so it stands to reason I should try the earlier iterations, but for the most part, I'm stuck in the last two decades. Again, I may be shallow, or ignorant of my roots, but it's just doesn't seem fun to me. Maybe one day I'll wise up.

Anyways, so Laura suggested this game, Day of the Tentacle, which I quickly searched out, and then realized it was one of those relics I try so hard to avoid. But she's a wise girl, and I said I'd try it, so I gave it a go.

The first 15 minutes or so were kinda boring, and confusing I must admit. It is the epitome of old computer gaming, ie. you don't move characters, you just click around and they do your bidding, and it's in complete, only semi-detailed 2D. That being said though, at the end of the day I had a blast with it. It took me a while to get accustomed to its gameplay (ie. figure out what the hell I was supposed to do, and how I was supposed to do it), and I did have to go online figure out you could pass items through time to different characters. But yeah, I definitely came to enjoy it. It was innovative, even being 15 years old, it was well written, it was funny, and the puzzles were absolutely fantastic. Lot's of thought needed to be put into them, but at the same time, they were strangely intuitive, and often hilarious.

My favourite part was the back in time stuff, and I loved all the things with the various leaders of America, even though Laverne was my favourite character. Oh and my absolute fave part was with the Edison twins in the sculpting room. Oooh or pushing the old lady down the stairs.

So overall it was a great experience and makes me want to try other graphical adventure games. And I'll most likely play through this one again at some point, even though I'm not sure much will be different on a second go around, but it's just too fun not to. Good recommendation Laura!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


I am so incredibly frustrated at this point in time. Frustrated about all the issues I've talked about in this blog, as well as almost every thing else in my life. And then of course, I get frustrated that I'm frustrated. It is the most annoying vicious circle ever. Why the fuck won't my friends get back to me? Why am I always sick? Why am I always anxious? Why am I looking for excuses not to go to Florida? Why can't I relax and enjoy life? Why do I have unattainable high standards for myself?

These are questions that need answers people.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Insert Clever Title

Well, it's week two of not sleeping very well. I get maybe 4 hours a night. Considering I'm not a full time student with parties to go to, and tons of course work, this is in fact a problem for me. I'm used to getting double that, and I have been, fairly steadily for a couple of years now. So a two week 'drought' is strange for me. I'm in bed from earliest 12, latest 1, till about 8am, but the whole night I'm tossing and turning, and I never wake up rested. I eat right, I exercise well (at least an hour an day, 7 days week) so it can't be those. It could be stress I suppose, but it's not like I can do anything about that.

I used to get really worked up about it, but now that it seems like it'll be sticking around for a while, I've resolved to just go with it, even though I feel like crap. If it keeps up I'll go see a doctor.